A Day in the Life of a Writer

7:00 AM: Wake up early to chirping birds and sunny skies.  Today will be productive, yessiree bob!
7:30 AM: Errands and such in Blanche, the trusty steed (re: white Chevy pick-up truck) of Red Deb Manor.
11:30 AM: Home, lunch, and ready to write!
11:31: Quick facebook check.
12:45 ...and ready to write!
12:46: ...
12:47: ...
12:48: ...uh oh.
1:00: Okay, maybe the titles just aren't inspiring you right now.  Let's find some fresh ones!
1:11: Oh Jesus. 
1:17: Well, I have notes ready for that article on "Differences Between Grasslands and Savannas," let's start there.
1:24: Do you know how much I care about the difference between grasslands and savannas? If you answered, "Not a damn bit," you are correct. Prizes are in the mail.
1:44: Maybe a different article.  How about a different title?
1:47: Why does someone need teaching activities that are themed around "Field of Dreams?" What is this, 1989?  Is there going to be a sudden upswing in scrunchies and over-sized t-shirts over stirrup pants? Because I will NOT put up with that, I swear to God.
2:00: And back to the all-important savanna vs grassland debate.
2:15 Clearly, this is not going to work.  Let's try that old college procrastination technique - cleaning the house!
4:00: I don't think this house was this clean when I moved in.
4:15 Okay, I can focus now.  Focus. Focus focus focus...
4:16 If 1989 is coming back, there needs to be a ritual burning of all teasing combs.  Kind of like the spinning wheels in Sleeping Beauty. 
4:45: FOCUS! WRITE!
5:00: Oooh, laundry needs to get handled.
5:33 Edits needed...okay...waitasec.  Did you really just send my article back to me because I didn't say whether or nor Elizabeth Taylor still owns the Krupp Diamond now that she's dead? Nope, you bet, she still owns it - Zombie Elizabeth Taylor is running around wearing a thirty-three carat diamond ring screaming for canapes and chamBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS.
6:00 Okay, dinner. Sandwich, or something requiring a bit of prep?
6:01 How about a lot of prep? EXCELLENT. 
6:15 Why is curry so damn good?  1989 can't have my curry. Take my natural fibers and well-blended make up, but you cannot have my curry.
7:00 Food. Jon Stewart. Writing.
7:29 Oh hells bells.  Why the hell would anyone want to make clear nail polish appear matte?  What's is the look you are going for there?  "I'd like my nails to look as dull and lifeless as possible." Shoot, Zombie Elizabeth Taylor would snatch you bald-headed.  Even in the next life, you know her french-tips are FLAWLESS.
8:00 American Idol is great background white noise, except for when the contestants sound like cats going through a meat grinder.  This is one of those nights.
8:42 "Leiber and Stoller! Lady Gaga! American Idol!" None of these things belong in the same sentence. EVER.
8:47 I give up. This day is just not happening.  These articles can kiss my grassland, and so can Impeccably Groomed Late 1980s Zombie Elizabeth Taylor.